LATERALUS • HJARTA

Chiryō-shi Posts : 74 Join date : 2014-07-12 Age : 24

Lateralus Lidelse Hjarta

"This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality. Embrace this moment, remember we are eternal. All this pain is illusion."

IDENTIFICATION ; ; Lateralus Lidelse Hjarta (la·ter·a·lis lee·del·seh yar·ta)
KNOWN • AS ; ; Lateralus
MONIKER ; ; Ladder, Lat, Liss, Late, Latte, Later
HOURGLASS ; ; 1 ½ years old
GENDER ; ; Female
VOICE ; ; Iggy Azalea (click)
POSITION ; ; Chiryō-shi

...THE REFLECTION ;;

"As with all tools, your body will from time to time need repair. And one day it will wear down completely. Your soul will do neither. Not now, not ever. Listen, therefore, to the whispers of the soul, not the cries of the body."

HEIGHT ; ; 70 cm at the shoulder
WEIGHT ; ; 66 lbs
SPECIES ; ; Timber wolf
COAT ; ; Her coat is not extremely thick, but it holds a wave that curls and sweeps across her canvas in a very whimsical manner. The canvas of such pelt consists a wide variety of shades and tones of ecru, cream, chestnut, and the darkest chocolate. The texture of her fur vividly darkens as it frames around her face, drips down the sides of her neck, and pours down her spine. The darker colors even out into the soft, pale hues of ecru and cream, painting her chest, sides, underbelly, and limbs. She is an elaborate mix of light and dark, the mirror almost seeming to reflect the things deeper within.
EYE · COLOR ; ; A particular shade of gold; sharp, clear, and expressive. Yellow blends around the edges, flecks of gold shining in just the right light. As the shades mix and swirl, closing in on the pupils, they heat up until they're a very soft amber hue, so faint, yet powerful enough to cause her irises to glow with it. Fire fills the many facets in her golden irises, and seem to mirror her mood in brightness. When she smiles, her eyes seem to glow, and it is that radiance that makes many who see it feel the irresistible urge to smile, too. This smiling of the eyes is the most sincere and pure emotion that she will show. If what she's feeling defied content, her eyes would retain a limp dull to them. Even then, they are filled with endless love. If one could say but four words to advise one on how to understand Lateralus, the four most reliable would be "the eyes never lie".
BUILD ; ; Not particularly beautiful, pretty, cute, nothing like that; instead, she's more like too bony. Thick jaw, pointy snout, and eyes too deep-set and large, ears too big, and maw too narrow. Strange, angular, and just a bit whimsical. She does have a generally exotic beauty to her, a very different type of beauty. Her knife jaw, slender snout, and curly-textured fur, are all something she's known for. Another thing, she's quite lanky. She tries to hide it, evident in how she often curls into herself, shoulders hunched, caved in, as if that would make her more compact. She's painfully shy about this factor of her body. Without shielding herself, it's obvious she's had much more relaxing than exercising; her stomach is soft and squishy. She likes to convince herself it's merely the remaining adolescence she has yet to grow out of, and while that is partially the reason why, it has also to do with her laziness. Though she's not especially hard-muscled in the abdomen area, she has respectively powerful muscles under her hide. They are nowhere near apparent unless she's partaking in rigorous exercise, though she is most definitely not lacking, so to speak, in that criteria. Having some rudimentary hunting skills, she is definitely not weak, even with her clumsy mannerisms. She's mere bones and flesh, a big heap of protruding knobs, having a rather surprising amount on her frame. She has a pretty off balance, her walk faltering often, as she often trips and stumbles. It's quite easy to pinpoint body language when it comes to her, as she forgets to limit her responses to things a lot of the time.
FRAGRANCE ; ; Lateralus has a very clean, floral smell that is dabbed with the natural saccharine of the wilderness. It opens with a gourmand accord of her homeland, the redolence of crushed mint leaves and a lingering scent of lavender, which combine and twirl together to add a velvet softness. The fragrances of wild flowers and rich green grass touches his fur ever-so-slightly, earthy and herbal but in the best way possible. These mix of different notes and scents give Lateralus a compelling warmth that makes her who she is.

...THE PERSON WITHIN ;;

"Wisdom does not speak through riddles or complex theories, wisdom speaks simply to the mind about the art of living."

PERSONALITY ; ; Lateralus is a rather interesting person to be around, as she exhibits an interesting mix of hysterical antics and a whimsical nature. She would consider herself a pretty chill female, but to most people her age, she comes off as a bit of a huge weirdo. Her affinity for her various hobbies and intense reactions to certain things might lead others to question her mental and emotional stability, but she is okay with this. Because in the very end, everyone's a little bit crazy. She just tends to express it more.

Indulgence is kind of her thing. She has a long list of things she particularly enjoys indulging in, including but not limited to: eating food, relaxing, females, laughing, herbs, being hysterical, and sleeping. Her fondness of self indulgence would be less of a problem if she wasn't so socially inept and basically weirded out everyone. Perhaps their discomfort comes from the fact that her views are rather peace oriented. She likes to call herself a spiritual enthusiast, a term that others dub as "hippie". Not only that, but her ideas of how to live life also shit in the mouth of cultural norms, such as violence, war, and prejudice. Somehow, her generally whimsical and derpy demeanor has helped her dab at a few very well needed people who don't exactly mind her ways, and might even share her qualities.

Lateralus is genuinely warm and caring as she is weird and complex. She holds a very special place in her heart for those she is close to, who are able to accept her strangeness and love her anyway. She has a very deep caring for others' well-being, and tries to be the best she can for others. She aims to be accepting, caring, and loving, someone who people would be able to go to for help. One of her main goals in life is to create a sense of wellness for others and generally provide guidance and direction for those in need.

She loves everyone, especially helping them and provoking smiles, however, at the same time she can be timid and shy, which may hold her back at times. Never the less, one of her greatest gifts is her general acceptance of everyone. Externally, she gives of a very warm vibe, loving everyone to death despite whatever flaws they happen to manifest. This is because she believes there is no such thing as ugly or undeserving of happiness, not saying she believes everyone is perfect, but, in a way they are. They are perfect in their own way, flaws and all. Lateralus knows what it's like to suffer from disorders and never wants anyone to feel that way, which is why she forces herself every day to smile so that she can continue to be that positive influence on others.

She also seems to believe in the "to each their own" formula, and will seldom be seem forming negative or hate-filled opinions about other people's decisions or traits. One would hardly see Lateralus actively disliking someone, or gossiping about it for that matter. Complaining, that's another matter, she'll do that if she's truly offended. Being very easy-going and easy to impress, she's rarely heard really going off on any one. However, if she does give you a piece of your mind, you can be sure it's coming from her heart and something that really matters to her. Lateralus is a pretty blunt person; be nice to her, and she will probably be the sweetest person on this very earth. If someone acts unpleasantly, they should expect Lateralus not to be around them a lot. In her heart, she is a very passionate and warm person. Those valuing peace, love, acceptance, and equality, fitted with a decent respect for the things and people around them, may find themselves a shortcut to Lateralus's inner circle of love.

Usually, strangers will find this young female very quiet, shy, and rather capricious, while her friends imagine her as outgoing and kind. Her best friends, however, know for sure that she is utterly insane and weird. Lateralus has always been known as a bit wacky and awkward, as she can be extremely loud and random, shrieking at the top of her lungs one second and running around like a rabid animal the next. She loves to be the center of attention and preform for people, and, consequently, she is constantly putting on a show for others in desperate attempts to entertain them and make them happy. Prepare yourself for a wild, purely insane journey with her if you plan to pry into the confined depths of her complex soul. She is a true child at heart and has a very odd but good sense of humor, her harsh, gasping laughter being heard quite often. She enjoys appealing to others' senses, even if she's not the best at it. She is always known for being rather flirty, her lewd, knowing smirk always curling on her lip, short remarks said to bring her thoughts to the surface. With that said, if you’re going to hang around Lateralus, you might as well get used to those kind of remarks, and give up trying to figure out if she’s being genuine or just teasing with you.

A few more things about Lateralus that might keep others on their toes is her rather unstable emotions. She sometimes keeps others guessing on what she's feeling, because she finds them confusing herself. They are constantly changing, meaning, one moment she could be pretty content and confident, and then she'll see or think something and it will make her unreasonably depressed or irritable. Sometimes it may effect her reactions and speech, making her words tired and occasionally laced with bitter poison. She is very well capable of firing her words with this venom, even though she might not use that type of voice a lot. She can be rather radioactive for the most part, as one little insult toward a friend can and probably will set her off. She is known for having a pretty bad temper when it comes to things like that. The thing is, she doesn't like drawing attention to herself at all, so she often forces herself to calm down if that light is beaming on her. When upset, she is usually angrier with herself when she shows it. She also often over analyzes situations and has a tendency to overreact, especially where her friend's well being is at risk.

In one of her "bad moods", her attention span can become extremely low. This is due to the racing thoughts. She tends to have a distracted look on her face when she's not occupied by laughing or smiling. It doesn't matter if she's in the middle of a conversation or hunt, it's almost always evident that her mind is somewhere else. It's not that she doesn't care about what's going on, but Lateralus can get rather self-absorbed during these depressive episodes. There are very few instances where she has ever discussed these issues with her friends, partially because she feels her friends might not want to listen, but also because she knows discussing her troubles wouldn't make them happy. It'd make them sad. And if there's anything Lateralus wishes not to do, it's make her friends upset.

Very often, Lateralus shows an insecure side of her personality: insecurity both herself and others. This sometimes causes her to have a low sense of self-esteem. As hard as she tries to achieve peace with herself like she says in her preaches to others, there's always something she feels like she should be doing to make herself a better person. This frustrates her greatly, as she wants nothing more than to be happy, peaceful, and loving with herself, not just others. She is likely to rarely give herself credit for the things which she does well, leading her to judge herself with unnecessary harshness. Giving her a lot of affection and attention is a must, as with Lateralus, out of sight means out of mind. She's nearly always doubtful of the trust she holds in others, fearing that their loyalty and promises are untrue. This puts Lateralus under a great deal of stress and gets her overwhelmed easily.

Situations which are charged with emotion may drive the normally peaceful Lateralus into a state of intense emotion. She is very perceptive to conflict, and she cannot tolerate it very well. The littlest of things can hurt her, causing her to either shut everyone out, break down, or resort to some place private where she could rage or despair her heart out, tears always occurring in either situation. Coming to grips with her emotional sensitivity is not easy for many, being that she acts so differently on the outside.

Although Lateralus is not too familiar with her goals in life, or whether she's going the right direction, she's happy to experiment with anything and see what life really has in store. She yearns for security, self-acceptance, and for life to be a sanctuary where she is the kind, loving person that will help those find their way. She who influences peace and love, hopes to remain a cheerful and optimistic aura within the pack. Life is not too easy on Lateralus; she is still trying to find out who she is. It is difficult, as every day new things happen, and new things are learned. But with every day, she is getting so much closer. What made her the way she is left a tiny little hollow place inside, so she has become an expert at blending in, camouflaging herself. Due to her upbringing, she is a little bit detached from how everyone else is, which causes her to feel extremely cast out at times, and sometimes, empty. She wishes for true connection, to feel what it is like to be truly content with another being, to finally be like everyone else. To be herself. But wishes, of course, are for children. And maybe she just hasn't looked long enough.

...DIGGING DEEPER ;;

"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness."

LIKINGS; ;
• Herbs
• Helping people
• Meditation
• Peacefulness
• Being sleepy
• Psychology
• Spirituality
• Romance, couples, relationships, etc.
• Spreading the love
• Comedy and laughter
• Talking about the meaning of life, love, purpose, etc.
• Affection. She wants you all to herself even if the deal hasn't been sealed officially. Lateralus greatly enjoys physical and verbal affection, snuggling, and cheesy lovey moments. This often makes her seem extremely clingy, but this is just who she is. Quality time is a major thing for her, and to this her emotional and insecure side come in rather quickly.
• Flirting. If she's close to you, be prepared for the comical wiggle of brows and lewd remarks. She greatly enjoys taking part in these activities, but it's more often than not playful.
• Sweet things; smells, tastes, people.
• Staying up all night. For some reason, she has trouble sleeping at nighttime, as when the sun goes down, it is her time to shine. She is most active during this time.
• Crazy people. She adores to laugh and loves pack members who can let loose and be completely hysterical. She's more often than not drawn to these sort of people.
DIS-LIKINGS ; ;
• Authority figures
• Egoistic people
• Being ignored
• Conflict
• Arguments, fighting, etc.
• Betrayal. She's had enough of this and she knows that it hurts a lot, and hopes not to encounter any more of it. This is one of the things that caused her to become a bit of an emotional wreck.
• Meeting new people. This makes her quite awkward and uncomfortable, causing her insecure side to kick in.
• People who discriminate others unjustly.
• Those who actively dislike someone or something, or try to spread their distaste towards others. There's a fine line between discussing and puking hatred everywhere.
• Limitations and rules. These make her quite nervous, as she's quite bad at following them. Well, this is what she'd like to think. It's all to do with her fear of disappointing others.
STRENGTHS ; ;
• Helping people. She'll always try her very best to fix people's problems, no matter how difficult the situation sounds. If she has to do something to make someone happy again and make the problem better, she'll do her very best to make this happen.
• Making others laugh. She likes to tell herself that she's good at this, mostly because it's one of the things that make her the happiest; making others laugh. Even if she doesn't make you laugh, she'll find a way somehow. Her natural clumsy, oddball behavior makes this easy.
• Analyzing things. Although she has the tendency to overreact when it comes to tough decisions, she is also the person you would depend on to look outside the box, come up with possible solutions to this or that.
• Helping people. She'll always try her very best to help people deal with their problems, no matter how difficult the situation sounds.
• Making others laugh. She likes to tell herself that she's good at this, mostly because it's one of the things that make her the happiest; making others laugh. Even if she doesn't make you laugh, she'll find a way somehow. Her natural clumsy, hysterical behavior makes this easy.
• Pulling pranks and messing with people. Lateralus can make the best prank ideas, and will always jump to the idea of doing so. Growing up, Lateralus often faced boredom, and when you have nothing to do, you will eventually find something to do. This is one of her main sources of fun.
WEAKNESSES ; ;
• She is very emotionally unstable. Rocky has been like this for a while now; it's all she's really ever known. She is often confused with her emotions and thoughts. The littlest of things could cause her to snap into either anger or sorrow. If situations are emotionally charged, be prepared to have an equally, or even more of an emotionally charged reaction from her.
• Changing routines and letting go of the past. When she is in a situation and the choices consist of this, she'd probably be the first one to break down. Although she has been gradually getting better at accepting the passage and changing of things in her life, her problem is still there, and still impacts her world greatly. She's built to love and care for others, but if things fall apart, her little pieces of heaven go away, it's very hard for her to remain stable.
• She is not good at expressing herself clearly. While she loves ranting about her opinions and beliefs on things, sometimes she has a hard time describing or explaining what they are or what is going on. It is a quite difficult thing for Lateralus to do, as she can get quite shy sometimes, sometimes just doesn't know how, and sometimes believes that keeping to herself is the only option she has. If Lateralus wants to tell someone what she thinks, she probably will, but if she's less familiar, it might take some extra attention and patience. If someone already does this, but doesn't show it, she will often take false assumptions. Therefore, encouragement through not only verbal, but body language is a good idea, or else she will lie if she feels the need to.
• Trust issues. She has a large uncertainty about whom to trust, how much to trust, when not to, and so forth. Growing up, she raised herself to a specific set of rules, one of which being never to put much trust in others.
• Socially awkward. While she is generally good at coming off as that normal, charming young woman, there are some chinks in her armor. Sometimes her mask falls down a bit, and she doesn't know what the appropriate response or action is. She doesn't pick up a lot of cues, and can be pretty oblivious to even the most apparent.
• • Insecurity. If she can't put a smile on a friend's face, disappoints someone, or feels that is the case, she'll feel really bad about it and will rarely ever let it go. She sometimes believes her allies to be unfaithful of their friendship, and will often take this upon her. This causes her to also doubt herself and her motives, being overly concerned about how others think of her.
• Procrastinating.
HABITS ; ;
• Tapping, shuffling, or twitching her tail or paws. She often does this when she's lost in thought, caught in an awkward situation, or simply bored.
• Not keeping track of her facial expressions. When lost in her inner conversations, she'll often make the according looks. More often than not, people have caught her smiling out of nowhere, having an expression similar to the atmosphere of her thoughts, or in frequent cases, no expression whatsoever.
• Being too quiet. She often, if not always, answers in a quiet tone when faced with a large amount of wolves. Wanting to choke on her own words, gulp down the urge and let it smother. With a couple of close friends, she has no problem spewing her thoughts, but if there are strangers, she becomes rather nervous.
SEXUAL • ORIENTATION ; ; Homoromantic pansexual; meaning, she usually only has romantic relationships and connections with females, but has physical attraction not limited with regard to biological gender, gender, or gender identity. Sometimes, however, she'll just go ahead and come off as completely homosexual to save confusion and time with explaining.

...CONNECTIONS ;;

"Life will give you whatever experience is the most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness."

ENEMIES ; ; None as of right now, and she hopes not to get any. She's too chill of a person to really care about hating or disliking people, unless they actively offend, insult her, or bash any ideals she holds on tightly to. Even then, she'd still not really consider them an enemy.
FRIENDS ; ; Lillian has no real friends, all the people she's gotten the slightest bit comfortable with ended up frustrated, got tired of her episodes and mood swings, or found someone better. She has people that she knows, talks to every or other day, however, that person that talks to them is nothing but her mask.
BEST • FRIENDS ; ; Lillian has never really had a best friend, never will, as all the times she's tried, she's failed. She has met a nice girl or boy before, hit it off, got butterflies, thought "Could this be it? Could this be a real friend?" But then, just like always, as soon as she dropped her guard, they grew frustrated and unhappy with her.
CRUSH ; ; Not really. She has never really had those type of butterflies or be romantically involved with someone, the few crushes she had were more of "friendly crushes". While she's been attracted to people of both sex, a certain soft spot for females, she's never really had a thing for anyone.
PARTNER • MATE ; ; She's actually a bit fearful yet equally curious in finding someone to look at in that sort of way. As far as she's concerned, however, this will not happen. She's not too interested in having this aspect filled with a name, as a matter of fact. Besides, she loosely believes that no one would like her anymore than a friend, especially with her odd personality.
OFFSPRING ; ; Maybe later she will adopt or take a little one under her wing, but right now she's simply too young and still trying to grow up herself. It'd be very unwise to go and take care of someone else, be responsible for their very life, when she's still trying to do that for her own self.
FAMILY ; ; She doesn't talk about them much, and doesn't plan to, so until then, this will remain blank.

Subject: Re: LATERALUS • HJARTA Fri Jul 18, 2014 5:36 pm

Absolutely beautiful biography, Lateralus, and very interesting character! c: